Thursday, February 26, 2009
For all those who supported me during my sad phase during my previous post,and all of you who read my blog, am first dedicating this bouquet of Violets. Thank you so much for brightening my life and being with me though my lows and highs. You people , each one of you who read, comment on my blog and talk with me, all the ILMBF gurls, and all my friends enrich my sad life. No words can express my gratitude.
And Yeah! finally the day has come when I am going to leave this home and move to another place. Its like a mix of emotions in my already troubled mind. I feel happy cos this might make a huge change in my life. and another part saddens me to leave this place which was so unlucky in regards with my dads death but still is filled with his memories in every nook and corner. I still am packing and also blogging cos this will be my last post from this house, so am making sure I am filling both my blogs :D
Maybe this is the change I want after all, maybe this is my first step to leave behind the bad memories and start afresh. I like few things about the new house, itz damn close to the beach, so I can walk in the beach everyday :) and also because I have a gang of my crazy college guys there . I hadn't realized till now, how close they were to me. Now we are re bonding big time and am sure those guys will make me more than happy. This is going to bring me back into the Friends circle close to me.
Secondly I know I have to reduce weight, so am going to join something or the other to loose weight.(Not to forget the beach walks or cycling WOW! :D) So the new house will already anticipate two major changes in my life. Hope lots more are there in store for me , like a new guy maybe LOL . My mom is going to start looking seriously, so wish me luck people. I don't want a creep again LOL !
Will meet all you guys and my gracious followers LOL from my new HOME . and my mom has started yelling, got to pack people so Sayanora for now !!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
O dearest daddy,
words cant express how much
I am missing you right now.
I don't know what am doing,
I don't know why am blogging.
all I know is am dead inside.
I am cranky, moody and sad,
if only you were near me,
If only I could hear you speak,
If only I could feel your presence,
O my! what a Life am I leading?
why cant i feel happiness?
why do i feel so numb?
what did I ever do so bad?
for the pain that pierces me!
am shattered ,
I miss you like crazy!
Why me? why me? why me?
why did you leave me?
to know what this f*ked up life is all about?
I have learnt enough,
I have ached enough
come and show me how to be gay
I have lost hope in everything
the future seems bleak
I have no one to my aid,
O daddy dearest I love you!
I have had enough,
I lost you,
I lost my relationship,
I lost my happy family,
I have lost faith in myself!
Oh please take me away from my miseries,
take me away from this pain..
Happy birthday !
Happy birthday to you!
happy birthday dear daddy..
happy birthday to YOU!
Your shattered daughter!
I know my bestie is getting married to the guy she LOVES and she is so happy about it. But I somehow feel, She is going to be away now. Call me crazy but I prefer being the ONLY apple of her EYE anyday LOL. This is a small dedication to show my love for her and Wedding wishes for the beautiful bride MWah!! So kinda a Tribute to my Friend !!
Its been a decade,
The innocent childhood,
The ignorant Teen days,
The Romantic college days, :)
The Realistic harsh days,
And Yet I crave for more ;-)
You are always close to my heart,
yet the distance makes it hard.
I know you are going away for the good,
I know you are going to be happy.
Yet, my heart refuses to let go,
My soul is being unrealistic!
You have always been around,
smiled through my happy days,
cried with me when I am hurt,
showered me with love when I needed,
I can never get someone so dear,
I love you my dear Friend!
It all seems so near,
the days of innocence,
the days filled with sunshine,
the days we were ourselves.
Now we commute in different paths,
I have furthered the distance,
To let you go.
Now spread your wings ,
and fly high my dearest,
Your day is coming,
Your joys are gonna make me smile,
Your happiness will enrich thy!
You are going to be glowing,
Like the Moon on a cloudless night,
as you gracefully walk down the aisle,
amongst all the near dear ones,
As everyone turn green with envy..
I shall be beaming with Pride,
here comes the beautiful bride!
Monday, February 16, 2009
I AM : WHAT I AM ;-) ... charming , funny and cute, and also fiercely independent ...watver the bottom line is M irresistible hahah
I THINK : I am a pretty nice person ;-) , I think about almost anything and everything, my mind is hyper compared to my body :-D
I KNOW : that I need to lose weight like annie :P
I WANT : My dad back :|, to start my life afresh (Fat chance:P) I want the old days back :'(
I HAVE: a thirst for learning a lot of new stuff in my life! , a zest for life ;-)
I WISH : I don't wish anymore, what ever should happen , will happen anyway, whats the point in wishing anyway *rolls eyes* ? But i do Wish my EX best friend LOl a very happy birthday today :)
I HATE : My fears , i need to conquer em soon!!
I MISS : One and only my DAD forever :'(
I FEAR : DEATH ( as if fearing would help me haha :P)
I HEAR : Voices inside my head at times *seriously* =))
I SMELL : Have a very bad cold, nose is completely blocked, so sorry I don't smell a thing right now ;-)
I CRAVE : for chocolates, ice creams , so basically anything that makes me gain a pound in a second >:) mwahahha
I SEARCH: only in GOOGLE (lame i Know:P)
I WONDER : if at all, I can have a normal life like the sane people around me :P
I REGRET : the list is endless, move on shall we ? ;-)
I LOVE : My family, friends , My doggie!!
I ACHE : when i see happy families around me . I don't have ONE now:'(
I WAS NOT : as hawt(read fat ) as I am right now LMAO=))
I AM NOT : as insensitive and unemotional as I portray myself to be :D
I CRY : only in front of myself :|
I BELIEVE: in MYSELF!!
I DANCE : when No 1 is watching :D (Cant help it , if I have two left feet, Itz a genetic flaw peeps :P)
I SING : all the time, till people threaten to choke the hell outta me haha!! :D
I READ : anything and everything. I love reading books, blogs, newspapers, magazines, letters whatever :P ;-)
I DONT ALWAYS : speak my mind. I tend to tell a lot of white lies.
I FIGHT : with people who are close to me ONLY!
I WRITE : a lot, most of my blogs are still unpublished ;-)
I WIN : almost all arguments,even if am wrong ;-)
I LOSE : my pens all the time!! *I wonder whats with pens and me seriously*
I NEVER : would hurt anyone intentionally !
I ALWAYS : Like to be myself!
I CONFUSE : Independence day and republic day :| ..and also shirts and t-shirts, odd and even :|:| these three are the things I confuse almost ALWAYS!
I LISTEN : to the same songs I like over n over again, till I get bored of Em :P
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND : in a group of people, laughing in the loudest pitch ever :P
I AM SCARED : of being too much in love with someone*Ouch! even the memory hurts*
I NEED : to sort out my messed up life !
I AM HAPPY : When I am with animals , or I do something good for another living being!:)
I IMAGINE : almost anything which can be remotely related to being WEIRD :D
Now I just pass on the tag to anyone and everyone who pass by my blog.
About Annie - I think, she is an amazing human being, tough on the outside but so tender on the inside !!:) Mwah >:d<
Monday, February 9, 2009
Ho Ho Ho... the festive month for Love has officially started. All malls and shopping complexes' are decorated in various shades of Red! Cute hearts of all Sizes and colors ranging from palest pink to the deepest red can be seen all over...it can truly be said that Love is in the air !! :)
Love is in the air...accepted, but I seem to be choking out of breath after a long time haha. Being Single seems weirdly fantabulous to me LOL!! :-D ...Especially when there is No need to break my head over what gifts to buy or what surprises to give to my Valentine. ;-)
No love = No Planning + No Tension + No waste of Money =)) LOL
Surprisingly am taking this valentines day in an extremely positive way *whistles*. I had lots of fun suggesting funny and creative ideas to lot of my girl friends. The thought that you are just the idea creator and not the executor gives me immense pleasure, just like ma job =)) LOL . So this is infinitely better than my last one click here
I sure as hell am gonna have a lot of fun this valentine's day, as that day is going to be a Gurls group meet. Yeah! the power puff girls meet yet again LOL !! Finally after a year all the four of us are gonna meet up again and have so much fun, that ma EX might come around does not bother me at all.* yayyyyyy am growing up :D) I can honestly say am moving on big time at last :D *Phew*
(PS : You got to appreciate me on this one, cos last week I saw him and he is SMOKIN HAWT ...no kidding :| He said he luvs me, and yet again I din bother to reply ;-) *Pats self on the back*)
well well , whats new for this Valentines day? you might ask apart from the Friends meet . hmm well as some of you might already know, am officially in the process of Groom hunting through e matrimonial sites. People who want can kick me after reading my views on the same click here . *grins sheepishly* . On my defense I am doing this for my MOM not for myself :|
Anyway am anticipating a Far far better valentines day next year with a Guy who really does understand me and cares for me hopefully * fingers crossed*
Whoever said " all good men are taken , married or gay " , I salute THY :))
Whatever the bottom line is I will be spending Valentines day with the people I love the most since the past 10 years :) So this is an equally special valentines day for me.
Advance congrats for all the committed and lovely couples out there . and also all the best for the likes of me :D ...cos you know what your Prince charming or Princess Consuela bannahammock (LMAO!) is right around the corner ,waiting for the right time to BUMP on you ;-)
Here goes my small dedication for Love and Valentines day and for all of you reading my Blog :)
When I look at your smile,
My heart skips a beat!!
When I see you cry,
It breaks my heart ..
Why do i feel this way?
Your happiness is Bliss to me,
Your sadness pierces me...
Why do i feel this way?
Our souls are intertwined
Our hearts are locked together
You are part of me,
as much as am a part of thy!!
Why do i feel this way?
I may not be perfect
But I promise to
Enrich your joys..
Double your pleasures..
Fade your worries,
I promise to be there for you...
Will you be my Valentine forever??
PS: The indigo heart looked different and cuter than the normal red ones hehe.. :)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Feels like I have fallen in a pit,
being swirled by darkness around me,
its closing up my vision,
am choking, am suffocating,
am so vulnerable, am helpless,
its scaring me, beyond my wildest imaginations!
Not a hand to help!
Not a soul to listen to ma pleas....
I fear my unknown destination,
I fear for my loved ones,
I fear Death, I fear Life!
Fear is my biggest Fear right now,
what am i fearing?
I cry out LOUD!
YET, Not a hand to help,
Not a soul to hear my pleas...
As am entering this black hole,
ma heart feels fainter,
ma screams echo all around me,
All i see is darkness,
All i feel is Darkness,
The cold wind swarms around me,
sending deep shivers all over me
I feel colder and colder..
Yet Not a hand to help,
Not a soul to listen to ma pleas...
Ma voice is way fainter now,
ma eyes have given up the search
Ma heart does not care anymore,
Ma body is too weak to move
All i know is..
am surrounded by darkness,
am shivering, whimpering and weak
And still yet, not a hand to help
Not a soul to hear my pleas...
Am feeling Blue ! :'(
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The title rings some familiar bells doesn't it ?
This has always been a big debate in my family, with most of the elders voting for the former, and the youngsters opting for the later! and me being the youngest have always been debating on how friends are always the best. And No! am not here to debate again. I just attended my cousins wedding last week and i was wondering like how all the cousins stuck like glue in seconds. I had no clue what my cousins were really doing with or in their life unlike my friends who are relatively frequent in contact with me. Call it Blood bonding, but we just clicked like magnets , all the six of us and were jabbering way into the wee hours of dawn! None of us wanted to sleep, it was like a time capsule, each one of us had so little time to describe our life, lifestyle, likes, dislikes but every one wanted to share everything. We ended up having a huge debate revolving relationships, career and Boozing LOL. and being the youngest, i wasn't allowed in the so called ADULT conversation for so long :P . and it felt really good to finally be a part of these conversations.
we have all grown up as kids together, shared a part of our lives since we were too little to understand who we are sharing it with. I guess the saying holds true here, Wine gets better with age, so does relationships at least it holds true with my cousins. I really wrote this as a tribute to all my cousins and the wonderful time we have spent together for so long.
But as usual the water's density and also particularly the Volume has been increasing a lot. Let me make it clearer hehe, my close friends have become closer and precious(density) but I have made,( as everyone does) so many new friends (volume) LOL ! and frankly I am not able to cope up with the volume LOL , i mean at least being in touch is hard and apart from the close ones, if I meet the not so closer ones, I am sure I cant make up such striking and remarkable memories.
So as a conclusion, am forced to say BLOOD is thicker than water practically LOL =))
Nah I have really great friends, dunno what future has in store for me at the friends or relatives end, But i do consider my best friends as my Blood relatives and my close relatives as my best friends LOL.
I consider myself extremely blessed person to be having the best of both the worlds!
Nice conclusion innit? hehe :P