Apology to my loved ones!

Pain says give me more!
Heart never learns; a gazillion mistakes;
The story of my life!

As I gaze deep into myself
All I can see are the flaws and some more,
The realization brings in another painful stroke
Of the days bygone, by numerous fights
With friends and foes alike ;
Am I really fit enough to go on?

All I do is give back pain
From the people who shower their love
What a worthless life I lead?
Totally ashamed and embarrassed
To realize my true self!

Life will go on, but the mistakes haunt!
I realize with a coldness in my heart
Apologies are for people who learn
But do I ?

With the physical pain taunting my existence
Of the organ corrupted
I feel bad about the numerous times
I tried to give up on my life!
Resulting in sheer physical pain!
Who do I apologize to?
Myself for being the biggest idiot?

The people for whom I could have died for
Are long gone, leaving me with the pain;
Now I am scared to accept the physical flaw!

Was it something wrong with me all along?
I cry a river inside! Knowing the answer
But never having the guts to accept it
Coward is what I am today!

This is for the people who love me
For my flaws, for the child inside me
A million apologies for the hurt and pain
Caused by this reckless mind!
Even if I am not with you
Remember that I always loved you!


I have no clue why am apologizing for! I am just a little disturbed and wrote crap ! :|