Men and Women !~~! 8-} 8-}

Well my last post is very sad I know And i have not read it after the fiasco in ma office . So i thought how about something good to write in this highly neglected blog.:)


And i am also officially announcing that Sue aka Suefa aka watver u call her , has resigned from this blog and is no longer entitled to use this blog :P =))

Well I was thinking what can i write ...and then i decided that i have always been interested in the mails where men and women try to outwit each other . I myself have a lot of experience here with one particular friend of mine. we both are gr8 looser's at the end :P, but those mails gives us a sadistic pleasure of irritating and degrading the other . b/w did i forget to mention we are best friends???=))

anyway i decided to compile some of these dumb things to again prove that my words has a bigger audience :P

I hope the fairer sex enjoys it and the not so fairer sex =P takes it with a pinch of salt :D as none of it is my words ;-)
so here we go....

Men are like.......

.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

.....Handguns.
Keep one around long enough, and you're going to want to shoot it.


Relationships:


* When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
* A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know there’s always a chance for us".


Maturity:


* Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults.
* Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Groceries:


* A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.
* A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.


Directions:


* If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.
* Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I’ve found a new way to get there", and, "I know I’m in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".


Admitting Mistakes:


* Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.
* The last man who admitted that he was wrong was Gen. George Custer.


Offspring:


* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Laundry:


* Women do laundry every couple of days.
* A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.

Weddings:


* When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony".
* Men talk about "the bachelor party".


A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become. ~Anita Wise

“There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy...like nailing jelly to a tree for example”

“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.”

“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.”

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. ~Mae West

If they can put one man on the moon why can't they put them all there?

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?


And yeah this blog is dedicated to "G" ^:)^